Ex-pired!

expired

Expiration means “exhalation of breath”. It is interesting that when a person dies, we sometimes say they have “expired” or figuratively say ; ” they have breathed their last breath” When death occurs, the end of a matter is established.

When death occurs, the end of a matter is established.

There’s a reason why things have expiration dates. For this same reason, expired items are not meant to  be kept around. They stink! They stink so bad, it is hard to use it for its original intended purpose. So what do you do with expired stinking items? You throw it away into the trash. You don’t try to use it because you know it’s gonna do bad things to your body and since you really don’t want that to happen, you get rid of it no matter what it meant to you.

In the same manner, when a relationship, be it situational, circumstantial or positional ends; the word “ex” is attached to the definition of the person’s current representation in one’s life. So there’s an ex- roommate, ex- wife, ex-president  etc. The word, “ex” can mean; not or without. This means as soon as this prefix is attached to someone, there’s an understanding that the person no longer has the title, status or function that he/she previously had or held.

However, human as we are; it is extremely hard to let go of dead or expired things in our life. We tend to judge people who hoard things. Sometimes we  think these people might have mental issues because we cannot simply understand why they won’t let go of things that no longer have value or meaning to them. Yet, we are guilty of the same things we point fingers at in others.

When a relationship (not marital or platonic relationship) falls apart; there’s always that time period when reconciliation is sought either through begging, manipulation, coercion or what have you. After a time, when things don’t get patched up; most of us women instead of recognizing the death and end of that season we fall into the; ” friendship trap”

The friendship trap begins  with ; “We’r just friends” Seriously? Yes, you can only be friends because that’s what he/she will allow you to be, nothing more. It ‘s easy and comforting to think that friendship is good enough..better than nothing. So you settle for less and become the one he/she talks to when bored or has issues going on in their life and relationship.Your value becomes diminished in his eyes and eventually in your own eyes. It’s a sad situation because you end up deceiving yourself that if he still talks to you then he “needs” you.You know you deserve better than being the “so called friend” yet you hang onto the friendship trap until it overwhelms you because you’d rather have something than nothing.

The question is why is nothing terrifying? Nothing is terrifying because no man is an island. Humans were created for communion and fellowship and not isolation and most often than not you literally made this person; “your all” before the relationship expired. So you might not have anyone to turn to. In our current state of world, being single is regarded as a “disease” that you need to be healed of. Hence, it is not “cool” to be single or unattached, so you are tempted to rather have someone who doesn’t care about or for you than being alone.

Why is being alone misjudged and misused? Does Ecclesiastes 3:1 not say; “There is a season and time for everything”? This definitely includes a time to be alone, single and content. Whose standard and words will we live by and believe? The LORD’s  or the world? (Romans 12:2). David found God in his solitude as a shepherd boy.Samuel  heard God in the midnight hour all alone in his room.

Your ex cannot and should not  become your BFF…. if that is your current situation, then you might still be in “the denial stage ” as mentioned in the blog;  Don’t Jump!  I am not implying that you bear grudges with people from your past. You definitely have the responsibility to forgive them and live at peace with all men as the LORD commands us to. However, you do owe yourself the joy of today and the hope of tomorrow by not dwelling or staying in yesterday which is your past.(There must be a reason why it is called the past!)

There’s a reason why certain people are not in your life. You are not for them and they are not for you. Not because you are better or they are better since the Bible implores that we not think more highly of ourselves than we ought to; Romans 12:3. God has a purpose for everyone you meet in your life and people leave or stay in your life based on destiny and purpose.

When planting, a seed is buried and it “dies” for multiplication and new growth to occur or germinate. Humans die because there’s the need to live out of our spirits and transition from mortality to immortality or eternity. This means living without sin and the flaws of a fallen world. In this sense, death becomes a good thing, because  the only resurrection man needs is and was the resurrection of Jesus Christ. which is an assurance of life in eternity with him.

Do not let fear and insecurity hold you on to your past, to the toxic contents of a season that is over in your life. The familiar path is not always God’s path

Do not let fear and insecurity hold you on to your past, to the toxic contents of a season that is over in your life. The familiar path is not always God’s path. Rahab had to let go of who she had been (prostitute) and took a leap of faith to be part of God’s chosen people; Joshua 2. Ruth had to let go of Moab and widowhood to meet and connect to Boaz and God’s purpose.(Ruth 1:16)

When a relationship ends as hard as it feels and seems, It has ended and expired. Will you toss out the expired and welcome the new? Don’t forget Isaiah 43:18-19 ;

“Remember not the former things,

    nor consider the things of old.

 Behold, I am doing a new thing;

    now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

I will make a way in the wilderness

    and rivers in the desert”.

 

 

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