What’s up with the Wait?

Whether you are “good” or “bad”; you have to wait. It’s not an option, you just gotta have to especially as life doesn’t always go as planned.


il wait 2

The verse above is very common in  christian circles. However,, the problem is that it has not really been understood and has been quite misinterpreted many times.

It is necessary to establish that we all have to wait for someone or something at various points in our life.A pregnant woman waits for the birth and arrival of her child, a student waits for the day of graduation, a christian on their death-bed awaits eternity in heaven.

Whether you are “good” or “bad”; you have to wait. It’s not an option, you just gotta have to especially as life doesn’t always go as planned.

The focus of this piece will be on waiting as a single or unmarried person.You and I had our “timelines” while growing up. Fill in the blank spaces; “I will have a career and secure job by age___”. I will be married and have kids by age ___”. We draw these timelines based on our own perception and understanding of what we think tomorrow holds. We forget that his ways and plans are not out ways and that our God is not limited by time.

I personally believe waiting especially when you are single has been built on a lot of humanistic understanding instead of God’s point of view. We have been told by prominent ministers and speakers to wait because;.

  1. You  deserve better.

God saw all that he has created and said it was good (Genesis 1:31). So when we say “better”; what are we exactly insinuating? Do we just mean the superficial things; better looks, better finances, better education/career, better christian? (Is there really something such as this? I mean; are not all of us saved by grace). I totally get it and understand that there are levels of spiritual maturity and it’s quite necessary to marry someone who can help you grow instead of receding. Question is what is better in the sight and infinite knowledge of God? I do know and understand that we are not to cast our pearls before swines else they’ll trample upon it ;Matthew 7:6. It is without argument that we are not be unequally yoked either.(2 Corinthians 6:14). So is the definition of  better just the next gal or guy “better” than your ex or???

 2. Because you are not ready or if you are, God is preparing your spouse who is not ready.

So for one, I know and understand God is not slow(1 Peter 2:9) If we really believe, he is not slow then why would he let one person be ready and the other not. I know you are saying; God is not a dictator and so he allows us as individuals to make our own choices. Yet, I ask, is it not God who works in us to both will and work for his good pleasure? (Phillipians 2:13). So what’s the deal with you not being ready or your spouse not being ready? Some will say, character formation, spiritual growth, finances etc. To that, I’ll answer that many are married that you can attest to yourself that even as a single person,you have “better”(very subjective) character and spiritual maturity. Okay, I understand,that this probably is or can pose a problem to their marriage. Hence, the argument of you or your spouse not being ready is very “shaky”. This then leads to the “truth” that we don’t wait in our singleness for a man or a spouse but we wait on the LORD.

3.You are waiting for a spouse

The third point is the most heart wrenching humanistic foundation that has been laid.I was quite surprised when the LORD revealed to my spirit that we do not wait for someone or something. We wait for God, (Psalm 20:7). You are not waiting for a man to complete you or to make you whole. Yes, God saw that it was not good for Adam to be alone. In Genesis 2:18, God said he’d create a helper not a savior. A man won’t fix your life if it’s in mess. Yes he is a helper and can help in certain ways and aspects; spiritually, financially, sexually and emotionally. Am I saying marriage is not good? A definite no! Did God institute it, does he endorse it as being between a man and a woman, does he honor it? Check ; Genesis 2:24, Hebrews 13:4 and 1 Timothy 4:3

Marriage is good but you are not to sit or go about waiting for a spouse. I have personally realized that whenever my focus shifts to this erroneous thought of waiting for a man;  I am easily presented with the temptation and   evil of restlessness of ; “how much longer’? “Is he the one”? all these create fertile grounds which look innocent in its initial stages but before long plunge you deep into sin.

You are waiting for God and his goodness. You are waiting on his promises and the revelation of who he is and has called you to be. Am I in any way saying; do not think about marriage or prepare for marriage. No! No! But your hope and trust  is to be in the LORD and not in man. So, what does the goodness of the LORD look like? It is unfathomable. He told Moses; his goodness was his glory .(Exodus 33:18-19). His glory, was that which made Moses’s face shine continuously. How does that translate into your own life? I have met single women who say they don’t believe they have being called to marriage. My reaction is one of surprise and awe as I probe further into their conviction. Surprised because; prior to these encounters, I had not thought of  the possibility of not being called to marriage. Awed because; I respect their commitment and belief that this is God’s will for their life. Thus, for one person; the goodness of the LORD will be expressed in marriage while it might not being for another.

I know you have a question for me. I’ll answer you. I don’t feel  or believe that I have being called to a life of single-hood. I believe marriage is part of God’s plan for my life. Whether that is today or tomorrow should not be my problem as I wait. If God can make and hold the stars,then he can hold your heart to trust and lean on him in all of your ways as you wait on him.

Are you ready to wait on God or human?




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