Being Hagar

the other woman

It’s no secret females love attention… well who can blame us when Adam was so eloquent in his address and marital vow to Eve? (Genesis 2:23). Blame Adam for making us feel entitled!

However this desire for attention if not solely submitted and surrendered to Christ Jesus is more than likely to lead to a woman’s undoing and demise. Perhaps, it is likely that which prompted Eve to be the ” first” to be like God, by desiring to be the first to eat of the forbidden fruit. Since Eve is our great grandmother, it is quite easy for us to fall prey to anything and anyone who will give attention even the very serpent who gave Eve attention. There is an ill fantasy and thrill of  being the center of attention or the “distraction of attention” to a man whether he is committed to a relationship or married. (I bet y’all christian sisters have no idea what am talking about! You are so holy!) Whether out of desperation, insecurity, pay-back or whatever the reason is; it earns you a name and a title;

The other woman.

You don’t have to be a slave to your desires. Christ died so you can have freedom. Real freedom is found in being able to choose what is wise, right and godly.(1 Corinthians 10:23)

Are you the one that will take the “friends with benefit challenge? The other woman, the one who will make “him know what love is?” You are not the Messiah. You cannot meet every man’s needs!

Don’t settle for being the other woman in hope that one day you will become # 1. Hagar was always Hagar…so was Ishmael. They had a share but never took the place of Sarah or Isaac. Your beauty, fashion sense, intellectual, sexual prowess will not earn you a man’s love.

Yes you might feel special because you are the one he takes out to special occasions and functions….ha!  Well,that’s all he thinks you are good for. A plaque, a trophy to show off but not to be committed to. He doesn’t see you as the woman with who a future can be built with; the one to birth his offsprings and hold hands with when wrinkles appear and your teeth falls out.

You need to know your worth… you are a daughter. You are a princess. You are Sarah;mother of many righteous generations. Don’t think because you bought him this and that, helped him to become what  he is; means he’s obligated to you.. Remember in the end; Abraham did not blink about sending Hagar and Ishmael off; Genesis 21:14. You’d think, he ‘d let her leave Ishmael behind! Was he not his “love child”? The son who paid the cost of 13 years of silence from the LORD?(Genesis 16:16, 17:1) Yet he was ready to let him go. No matter what you build with a man as the other woman, he will not hesitate to let you go,when it really comes down to it. For him; there is more at stake than your worth or value to him!

Your encounters were wrong, your seed and it’s fruit; illegitimate. It wasn’t recorded that Abraham blamed or even hated Hagar because of  the subsequential period of silence between God and himself;one who was called a friend of God as a result of their sexual union and  the birth of Ishmael.However, this Abrahamic nature might not be present in the man to whom you are the other woman more especially if his life is devoid of the fear of God.(A man who has the fear of God has no business two timing) Eventually, you are most likely to be blamed for his relationship or marital problems or general life isues. It is harmful and dangerous to find yourself in this place of blame.

Why? Because if care is not taken, you develop a full-blown ill of self-pity and “never good enough” demeanor. You tried so hard to show him what a good woman you are and yet he blames you. Swiftly the accuser of the brethren, the enemy of your soul comes in and throws his games of confusion, self-denial, guilt and condemnation at you. These in turn drag in depression and most deceptively; the spirit of worthlessness and the deadliest; spirit of suicide. He will try to convince you that your life is not worth living especially not after all the effort you put in  to try to make it work. He will ask you; if God loved you and  where was or is he in the midst of all of your heartbreak and shame? It’s quite unfortunate that in these times, you forget that you were your sole contract and foreman; you  built and laid out for yourself,a godless foundation.Your actions basically told God; back off, I got this. How then does God build something on your shaky, sandy and godless foundation?

Psalm 136:1; God is good always! This is not just a cliché. He is truly good whether you realize it or not . Whether you are the other woman or the right hand woman. He still cares for you. All you have to do is to cry out to him. He wants you to rest in his love as he quiets your soul down beside still waters.(Psalm 23:2). He wants you to give him the ruins and waste of all you are thinking and feeling  and watch him make the rejected stone ; the builder’s cornerstone.(Psalm 118:22. In Genesis 21:17-19; Hagar cried out to the LORD who not only delivered her and Ishmael from thirst but spoke to her and comforted her. God not only desire to fulfill your every “thirst’ in life but he desires above all to commune with you daily and have a  thriving relationship with you through the Holy Spirit who is the comforter.(John 14:26)

You are his bride. Decked in white, spotless and blameless.(Revelation 19:7-8) You have the fragrance of royalty. You deserve only the best and he is graciously offering it to you; HIMSELF. Why don’t you acknowledge his everlasting love with: ” I will take that please and thank you”?

 

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