The Leah Syndrome

Leah's syndrome

A syndrome defined by Merriam – Webster as; “a set of concurrent things (as emotions or actions) that usually form an identifiable pattern”

The “Leah syndrome” thus is a set of emotions/actions that form an identifiable pattern of Leah in a conformation of “wannabism”(efforts to be or attain something you don’t have or someone you are not)

Who is Leah?Leah is the sister of Rachel as recorded in Genesis 29:16-18. It is clearly stated in the bible that Leah was not a beauty queen. Not the kind of girl, you would look at twice and so; when the quiet but crafty Jacob showed up on their doorstep, he did not look her way much. Her dad; Laban knew it’d take a while to find his first daughter, a good and hardworking man hence he devised a plan to marry her off. (Genesis 29:21-25) Thus this action set of by Laban began to form an identifiable pattern of inadequacy, competition, self-pity and worthlessness in Leah’s life.

Women naturally are creatures of love. We love to be loved. I believe that’s why the bible says; ” a man must cleave to his wife”(Genesis 2:24), because he made us and knows we love attention especially when it’s from the opposite sex. This desire for attention intensifies more especially  with someone who we tend to think of as a “potential”

However, mutual attraction and affection doesn’t always happen as they do in fairy tales. A woman doesn’t always get the attention or affection, she wants or needs whether single or married. Many times, a woman has been attracted to a guy who literally didn’t care to know if she existed. What do you do in such situations?

There are varying view points. From a worldly point of view where everything goes; the word out there is to pursue a man. Just google it and there are over a million tips on how to get a guy to know you have an interest in them. From flirtatious messages, gestures and clothing to actually offering sex to a man to get his attention. The media and the world has driven many women to contest or compete for a man’s love with sex. However, we forget that sex and love is not synonymous. (Try replacing the verbage love with sex in John 3:16  or every time you want to tell someone you love them) Outrageous isn’t it?

Sex has become a tool by which the devil and his cohorts through the media has made women feel empowered. How and why is that? Yes, a woman has sexual needs but her utmost need that weighs above everything else is love and not sex. How then does being sexy or playing harlotry empower anyone? Rather, it has made women, victims of exploitation and robbed us of dignity, honor and respect.

Sex is not a tool or a weapon. Most people frown on prostitution because sex is exchanged for money or material benefit. Is sex in exchange for love, a more dignified version of prostitution?  Sadly, there is also the trap and ideology of “tying down a man” by having a baby with him. This erroneous ideaology has only resulted in the birthing of a brood of people who hunger for love and acceptance because they lack love and a sense of belonging because of its absence in their childhood since there were only used as a means to an end; securing a man.

How does this relate to Leah?All her life as recorded in the bible ; Leah fought for a love that wasn’t hers. She hoped that with each son she gave Jacob; she’d earn his love.(Genesis 29:32-34Genesis 30:15-16). Ladies, let’s stop striving to earn a man’s love. A man is to complement you and not to in anyway complete you. Only Jesus Christ, completes you!

We find out in Genesis 37:3; that Jacob loved Joseph the first son of Rachel than all the other 10 sons.Why? I believe this is because he loved his mother; Rachel. Rachel was his one and only choice. He worked fourteen years for her hand in marriage because he loved her.(Genesis 29:21-30)

Oh!… that we’d wait to be chosen and not chase. That we’d be pursued instead of being purchased. That we’d wait for our Jacob. One who will cherish and love you as God has ordained no matter what just as Jacob loved Rachel even in her barrenness. He, who will wait for you in prayer and in strength. Waiting is not a passive season. It is not a season of idleness but of walking with the one who completes you. It is season of identification; knowing who God is and who you are. This is the perspective of heaven, to TRUST God in all of our ways (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Proverbs 18:22 says: “…he who finds a wife…..” A woman of virtue and honor is found. She is not a hunter neither is she a trickster who wiles her way into a man’s life. The Leah syndrome is not an issue in the world but in the church and christian circles. Neither is it a feminine ill but a common disease that ails all. For some, it might not be relationships, but perhaps a career or educational path among other things.

What is that you so desire, that you are walking in a way that seems right to you?Do you know the end of this route you are on? (Proverbs 14:12)

Whatever and whoever God commissions you to; he gives the grace and provision for. Your identity is in the LORD and not who or what. Do not let the leah syndrome rob you of your blood bought identity in Christ Jesus. Let the striving cease and rest in the comfort and joy of the LORD who made you and loves you unconditionally.

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