Single ladies…ring on it?


Ring with diamond  on white background

Every little girl’s dream right from when she can talk is to be “chosen”. To be loved and cherished. The dream of walking down the aisle in white with splendor and gracefulness is born. Every wedding detail and plan is constructed as the years go by through adolescence into adulthood. The one thing that is quite hard to plan for is the kind of ring and the kind of man who will put it on your precious finger. : )

Subconscious…Subconsciously these plans are made. Some fall out through the years and  experiences. However, the power and impact of the subconscious cannot be underestimated. Proverbs 23:7a (ASV); “For as he thinketh within himself, so is he” You eventually become or encounter whatever you think and meditate upon, good or bad.This is my story.

Like every little girl, I had my own ideas of what my wedding would be like. All I had to do was to find that ring and of course the one who had the ring. Quite simple… Through my early adulthood, I continually thought to myself whenever I was being pursued by a man was “all he has to do is to get that ring” and he would have won my heart. I  had erroneously  connected the value and worth of my heart and destiny with a ring and the man that had it without realizing it.

Time went by as I unconsciously nursed this seed of error until it blossomed and manifested. I met him. The one who had the ring. He had the ring and so the assumption was he was “the one”.After all, I had wrongly connected the value of my heart and destiny with a ring and whoever brought it.The seed of idolatry of a ring had grown and was ready to bear its fruit. On the night of the proposal, I was quite excited but peace eluded me. I didn’t think much of it because I thought I was just a little overwhelmed. I loved my ring. I had made it an idol in my heart even before I had it. I now felt obligated to the relationship to make it work and to see the rest of the wedding plans happen.

A ring is a symbol of love, commitment and union and can be likened unto a seal. A seal is defined according to Oxford dictionary as; “A device or substance that is used to join two things together so as to prevent them from coming apart or to prevent anything from passing between them” So literally, a ring enforces or strengthens the substance of a relationship. Rightly so, the  Holy Spirit is likened unto a seal in 2 Corinthians 1:22(NCV) “He put his mark on us to show that we are his, and he put his Spirit in our hearts to be a guarantee for all he has promised”.  God’s mark, seal and ring on his sons and daughters is the Holy Spirit and he is the first installment and guarantee for all he has promised in his word.

In translation, the ring I received was an image of what was to come. However, as time passed by, peace was still distant and things began to look hazy. Yet the shrine of idolatry in my heart wanted to hold on and maintain the status quo. What would I tell family and friends? What I had idolized had become a trap of bondage robbing me of peace and joy. In his mercies and kindness, the LORD began to show me the deceitfulness of my own heart, my idolatry of a ring and the pit of frustration I had dug as a result of the misplacement of my identity. He was not harsh or rough with me because his mercy triumphs judgment and he drew me out of despair and bondage into his love and peace.

I no longer have the ring. I had paid a price enough for it; the loss of my peace and misplacement of my identity in Christ Jesus. Fulfillment, joy and peace is not in man or things even a ring. Righteousness, joy and peace is only in the Holy Spirit, God’s seal of ownership and guarantee of  his promises and faithfulness to us as daughters and heirs of his kingdom.








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